I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions, I do however set some life pursuits. I evaluate my year and see where I excelled and acknowledge where I fell short of the woman I want to be. I find words that capture the opposite of my weakness and I do something which forces me to confront my demons and be better.
I believe firmly in doing your best, leaving the rest and when you know better, do better.
I accomplished 2013’s goals of being open, transparent and disciplined which created and exposed new flaws the following year. In 2014, I squared off with self blame, indecision and fear of uncertainty, last year people who know me heard me say and watched me do things that reflected these quotes:
‘Not my circus, not my monkeys.’ I stopped taking responsibility for other people’s decisions and actions. If I am responsible for myself, how people treat me is a reflection on their character, not mine.
‘I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions.’ I started to live with intention. I examined my life, made decisions and didn’t ask for unnecessary advice. I chose joy, independence, authenticity, decisiveness and contemplation to be my allies.
‘Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.’ I learned to allow things to just be. Most of life is spent in the time between high points and objectives. Arriving at a goal is not happiness, its a stepping stone to another goal. I let go of the destination, with people and situations, and began to live in the moment. I let myself be intense, passionate, opinionated and carefree without fear I would miss the mark. Best of all I got to love on people for the sake of loving on them with no objective in mind.
Here’s to 2014′ the year I learned about freedom, decisiveness, and spontaneity.
For 2015, I have decided to face off with some new challenges:
‘Move the body, still the mind.’ I think too much, I’m restless and unsettled. I need grounding and an escape from all the equations and formulas for life I run through my head. I need focus and to develop an off switch. This is the year, I enjoy sport, passion, companionship and hobby again. The albums and pictures are coming, I can’t wait for what this year will look like in color and black & white. I’m ready for adventure all I need now are companions to sojourn with me.
‘Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.’ Letting go of goals, people and past that no longer develops growth, happiness or is profitable, is necessary. Hurts, disappointments and expectations are on their way out. I’m setting limits with people because I only have so much to offer. I am a giver by nature, I have spent years giving till I was beyond empty and exhausted, now I seek balance and reciprocity.
‘I’m on the hunt for who I’ve not yet become.’ I have not arrived, I am not yet who I want to be. I have plans in mind, dreams to chase and character to develop. I’m not certain where this will lead but I know there is much more to life than the life I have lived thus far. No longer will I live with goals that are ill suited or expectations that are inopportune. Here is where I prayerfully consider every opportunity and learn to say no when it doesn’t fit.
Get ready for an action packed year boys and girls, this may be a bumpy ride but is sure is gonna be fun.
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‘I am a mermaid, I have no fear of depths but a great fear of shallow living’